


Does Anyone Know How To Raise A Child?

by TisBee



Category: Ghosts (TV 2019)
Genre: Alison is a baby, They mean well, aroace!robin, bi!kitty, biace!thomas, but they’re not ghosts, eventual Cap/thomas, eventual mike/alison, fanny is the token straight, gay!cap, gay!humphrey, its soft, lesbian!mary, no literally, pan!julian, pan!pat, terrible parenting, the ghosts try to raise her, theyre all a family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-07-25 12:35:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20025916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TisBee/pseuds/TisBee
Summary: Alison is left as a baby on the doorstep of Button House, so of course the Buttons try to raise her.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey hey this was planned long ago on the ghiscord, and I finally got around to finishing the first chapter

They were a big family. Maybe a bit too big. There were nine of them in all, and all obsessed with history. It was strange, as most had come from small secluded families, especially Thomas and Kitty who were the two youngest and had been sheltered all their lives. Robin was the only one who was used to lots of people living together, but they all soon got used to it.

  
It was soon their normality, and each settled into a routine. Then the baby came. They hadn’t meant for there to be a baby. They’d never even thought about children. Let alone having one turn up on their doorstep.

  
It was Humphrey who found the child, having heard her cries from outside. They had all rushed outside and stopped short when they saw the fast disappearing figure and a baby in a basket. She had wide, curious brown eyes and short tufts of hair curled on her small head.

  
She had stopped crying when she saw them and broke into a smile, deep dimples showing. They were absolutely smitten. The Captain seemed to be the only one thinking rationally out of all of them, although he knew the small baby had him as wrapped around her finger as the others.

  
He bent down to see two letters poking out next to the baby. He picked them up, careful not to disturb her. He examined them both and opened the one that was addressed to ‘The Buttons Of Button House’.

  
_This is my daughter. I cannot take care of my child. I want you to know that it wasn’t by choice that I am leaving her with you. I know this is bad of me, but I just want her to be happy and I know she cannot be happy with me. Ever. So I am begging you to take her in._   
_Please take care of her. Her name is Alison. I beg of you not to take her to a care home, or orphanage. I want her to have a good life, a real childhood. I can’t provide that, as much as I wish I could. But I know you can. Please take her in with you. And tell her that I will always love her, and give her the letter I’ve written for her._

  
The Captain read this out to his family in a swift, military-like manner.

  
“Well, that settles it. We shall take the child in.” Thomas said decisively.  
“Of course. We can’t let any hooligans raising a child.” Fanny sniffed.  
“Theres bes the other letter.” Mary pointed out.  
“It’s addressed to young Alison here. One does does not read another’s correspondence, even if the other is a baby.” Fanny said.

  
Everything seemed to happen at once. The baby was taken inside and Kitty was sent to get baby milk and nappies. A baby! How would they take care of her? Especially with them and their strange obsessions. They had barely even thought about children. It was almost an unspoken agreement. Their bloodline was going to end with them.

  
Well, that was a bit dramatic, but none of them had ever prepared for anything like that.  
Thomas took the young girl gently in his arms, gazing at her smile. She reached up and tugged his curly hair, giggling. He smiled, rocking her gently. Her eyes fluttered shut and she fell asleep. He looked around in confusion. What were you meant to do with a sleeping baby?

Never mind. They would work it all out (hopefully) and Thomas put Alison in an old cot, dusted off by Fanny from when she was much younger.

  
They all crowded round the bed, just watching her sleep, a peaceful smile on her face. They knew they had made the right decision. And how could they have said no? They drifted off to their various rooms, the Captain making a rota on who would watch the baby.

  
They left Thomas with her first and the others went to look up how to take care of a child. It was much harder than they had thought. Well, they’d known it would be hard, and they couldn’t exactly go against what they had said they would do. Besides, they could barely bring themselves to leave Alison alone with just one person. They all wanted to be there.  
But, they all had jobs they had to go to. They and to buy food somehow. And they wanted Alison to have the best childhood she could. None of them had the best relationships with their families, even Robin. That was why they all lived together.

  
Robin had come out as aromantic and asexual, and only a few members of his family could accept that, and after the Captain had left to join the army in his youth, his parents had practically disowned him.

  
Fanny had been raised in a way that was a little unconventional, and she had been left with a relationship that was stiff with her parents.

  
Thomas was a poet. A published one- a fact that always baffled the Captain, and the rest of them if they were honest- but his family was full of accomplished scientists and mathematicians who didn’t exactly approve of his life choices.

  
No one knew much about Kitty, but they did know she had lingering scars on her body that no one ever mentioned.

  
Mary came from an old fashioned family, and her lesbianism hadn’t played well with the strict catholics. She was also dyslexic, and had been a difficult child to raise. Her parents hadn’t the time with four other children. Mary sometimes saw her siblings, but they all had families of their own.

  
Julian was strange, to say the least. No one exactly liked him, but he was family and they did all love him. His parents didn’t like his friends, mainly, they said, because most were gay in some way or another. Julian has disowned his parents after that, but not before coming out as pansexual. He didn’t see them anymore.

  
It was true though, the only straight was Fanny, who had been converted to an ally of the highest appreciation. Her husband had cheated on her, as he was gay, and she hadn’t quite understood where she had gone wrong. Kitty was always confused by that.

  
Then there was Humphrey. Humphrey didn’t seem to have any family, none that he had mentioned anyway, and he was an actor, so they didn’t exactly see much of him, but they loved him nonetheless.

  
Pat was the one who had suggested they all live together. He was the sweet one, the one that made everyone want to pretend to like all the others at the start. Of course, that paid off, and all because everyone liked Pat. He didn’t talk much about family either.

  
And so they had all vowed that Alison would have a better family than any of them.


	2. Nine Idiots and a Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They have a tiring day with a relentless Alisn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh this chapter took ages... but I have an idea for the next chapter! (I think)

The next morning was manic. Well, more manic than usual. It seemed like Alison hadn’t slept all night, and everyone was tired. They had all tried to calm her down, but no one knew what she wanted. The Captain had been up half the night with Thomas as they looked up what a babies cry meant. That just made them want to cry.

But they fed her, she didn’t need her nappy changed, she wouldn’t laugh at any of their stupid faces. What did she want? In the end they sat down together, slightly defeated. How could a baby have gotten the better of them?

They sighed and sat beside her, gently stroking her head. She hiccuped, looking truly miserable and tired. Then Robin had a thought. He pressed his cool hands to her forehead. It was hot. She had a temperature.

So that would explain it. She was ill. Now, what were they going to do with a sick child? No one exactly knew, so google it was.

Google didn’t tell them much, but apparently they needed medicine. They probably could have figured that out eventually, but they weren’t exactly on top form that day. And maybe there was a reason for it.

And everyone would stare pointedly at Alison.

Not that they minded, of course they didn’t. She was only a child, and she didn’t know what was happening. She wasn’t even with her real parents. And Kitty didn’t count as an adult, because she was practically a child still.

But still, there were eight of them! They should have been able to take care of a child for less than a day. Pat was the only one trying anymore, and even the Captain had given up. Humphrey has disappeared… somewhere. Probably in the attic, but no one could be bothered to actually find him.

Eventually, Alison fell into a restless sleep, tossing and turning in her sleep. They all sighed with relief, and left Mary in charge. 

Mary watched over the baby, suddenly willing to protect her with her life. Alison’s eyes fluttered in her sleep and Mary reached over to turn the light off. “Hush, little one. Sleeps.” She said, standing up slowly.

She was tired too, she realised, as she wandered to her own room. They were all exhausted from a long day, and hungry too. But Mary decided the hungry could wait til the morning. They couldn’t help but wonder just what they’d gotten themselves into.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry it’s quite short (compared to other fics on here) and the other chapters will probably be quite short as well, but there will be a lot of them I swear thanks for reading!


End file.
